Tank’s New Owner: Billy-Bob.

Dudes,

I finally found a new forever home for Tank.  Meet Billy-Bob.

Tank & Bill.

all smiles.

I actually put Tank up for sale last week but didn’t post my last entry until I knew it was a sure deal.

Just kidding, he’s staying.  The plan was totally a GO until the email offers started rolling in and the jig was up.  Tall mommy did NOT think it was funny and put the kibosh on the whole plan.  She doesn’t let me post things on the internet, and claims it’s illegal to sell your brother on there.  Who knew.

The dude in the picture is actually my Uncle Billy.  Billy and Tank are pretty tight bros, and picture is just a random from happy hour.  We were just messing around – they’re such jokers.  Anyway, looks like Tank is staying, and we’re just going to have to find a good spin on it for my campaign.  Peaches has some ideas so hopefully we’re good there.

Tank and I are back in the Carolinas again for some business just chilling with Lex and Billy for a few days.  Things aren’t the same without Truman here, but we’re working through it.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

 

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Tank Went to Prison.

Dudes,

It happened.  Tank was sent to prison.

I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened.  He has been playing at the edge of the law lately, and this time he got caught.  Discrimination was definitely not on his side.

I don’t know what his sentence is going to be, but I doubt it will be lenient.   They kept him in the pokey for like 30 whole minutes.  That’s serious business around these parts.

Listen, I love Tank just as much as the next guy.  He’s my brother.  But I can’t have a felon living in my house, I just can’t.  It’s not good for my public image.

I consulted my campaign manager Peaches, and we agreed, it is time.  Tank is for sale.

He is listed on craigslist for 1 million dollars.  There is a mandatory home visit and I will be touring the homes personally to determine if the accommodations are suitable for Big T.  I don’t have time for games make sure you provide all of your information in your response.  Background and credit checks will be required,  and the payment option is CASH ONLY.  No payment plans, that’s a fools game.   See his ad below and contact me directly with any questions.  Also, don’t tell my mom, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug