12 Months in to my life, I’m Turning 1

Dudes.

It’s time we had a serious talk about life.

Bug Says: reflect on the past.

look in to my eyes. can you see what i’m thinking? no reason, just curious.

I turn 1 years old on Friday.  It’s a pretty big number: 1.  Truly, I don’t even know where these last 12 months have gone.

As I stand here looking out at what I can only assume is the last 95% of my life, I feel a renewed sense of responsibility not to waste another day.  I mean, it would be so easy to just live day in, and day out, chewing bones and playing with my friends at camp, but I want my life to mean something.  I want my legacy to be greater than just my run for class president and my impending olympic gold medal (specific sport, yet to be determined).

Today after camp I was pretty spent so instead of training (it’s wicked windy out) I got on my iPad to google things while my Aunt Ellen was on, and I came across this video.  I think this kid is my long lost brother.

Seriously, it’s like he took the words right out of my mouth.  I mean, that was half of my campaign platform for camp, just minus the dancing.  I don’t have the dancing down yet, but I have a darn fine swaggle (swagger + waggle) when I walk, and you better believe I use it to my advantage.

So, this birthday, this monumental anniversary of [my] birth, I will be taking paws (pause?) from my regularly scheduled life to reflect on what it is that makes me come alive and what path I’m going to take.  Also, I’m thinking about watching Space Jam.

In lieu of gifts, please do the same.  And when you’re done watching Space Jam, think about how you’re going to be a leader, and a boss.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

Snow Blows.

Dudes, last week it snow stormed here.  Well, sort of.  It wasn’t exactly a ‘storm,’ but there was snow and I LOVED it.

Bug says snow storm

 

I usually don’t like to get my paws wet, but I got a case of the curiosities, so I ventured out for a little expedition.

I sniffed it.

I sniffed it.

I tasted it.

I tasted it.

and I stopped off for a chilled brewski

and I stopped off for a chilled brewski (or twoski…)

I had so much fun playing in the powder, but I had left my coat in my camp bag so I only lasted about 10 minutes out in the tundra.

Tank, on the other hand, showed up to pick me up from camp in a sexy new parka, totally ready for the frigid temps.

I'm a model you know what I mean.  And I do my little turn on the catwalk

I’m a model you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk. On the catwalk. 

I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?

I’m too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?

I shake my little touche on the catwalk.

I shake my little touche on the catwalk.

All my friends at camp loved T’s outfit, and couldn’t stop talking about how sweetly the fur (fake fur people!) framed his face.  I was secretly a little mad because I wore my christmas sweater AND my coat to camp the same day, and NO one said anything to me about it.  I don’t even know why I try sometimes.

Regardless, this week I learned about snow and it was cool, but I got my fill.  I’m ready to move to a warmer climate. I’m thinking California, but I mean, I wouldn’t rule out another temperate climate.  I mean let’s be real, for the right price, I’d go anywhere, snow boots and all.

We had a big weekend after the snow, but I’ll have to circle back on that tomorrow because camp left me completely zonked today.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Time Outs + a Long Week at Camp

Dudes,

Is it finally the weekend? I thought I’d never make it.

I’ve been logging some seriously long hours at camp this week and I’m just plain exhausted.

my eyelids weigh like 4lbs. so heavy.

my eyelids weigh like 4lbs. so heavy.

On Monday AND Wednesday I pulled 10 hour shifts. Straight through, only 1 nap.

To add insult to injury, I think my mom is skimping on my lunch snacks.  Seriously,  around 3pm I hit this hypoglycemic low that feels like a brick wall and it takes everything out of me.   I can’t even tell you the last time I had enough juice left in me to do a training run through.  My body is too tired to think about fitness.

The worst part is that when I get tired I get super cranky, and have a little fuzzy brain.  Guys I can’t help it, I’m just exhausted, but my mom told me that isn’t an excuse and I got two, count them TWO, timeouts this week.

My first day off from camp was Tuesday and everything was fine until the afternoon when I had a fuzzy brain episode.  I haven’t been going in my iron prison much lately and have been enjoying a much longer leash of trust around the house, you know, within reason.  When mom came home for lunch everything was super kosher and I was in a deep REM cycle.

look. I sleep like an angel.

look. I sleep like an angel.

You should have seen her, she was so proud of me.  But she went back to work, the sleep wore off, and this happened.

it's just a shoelace people.

it’s just a shoelace people.

Yeah, so I did that.  But, I mean, really, I thought I was doing her a favor.  Who wears converses anymore? I mean that was so spring 2012 and/or 7th grade.  I haven’t seen her wear them in months and she keeps talking about cleaning out her closet, so I just gave her a little push she needed.

You know how she thanked me?  With a time out.  Geez, it’s like nobody appreciates unsolicited help anymore.

I was back at camp wednesday for another full day, which was a nice break from all of the ‘rules’ that come with home based freedom.  I tried to tell Toby about it, but he’s at camp all the days and just doesn’t understand my struggles.  Plus, he’s like the worst listener ever and is always yapping about himself.  So rude, sometimes I just think we should see other pups and just be friends.

Thursday came and went with minimal drama which really helped me out, but I just couldn’t seem to make it the full cycle and on Friday morning I got my longest timeout in recent memory.

Listen, on the mornings I go to camp I like to get up a little early to do all of my business, and then I typically just play by myself until it’s time to go.  Yesterday I was right on track, until I found a delicacy on the coffee table.  My mom only uses one type of pen (pilot vball extra fine) and NEVER lets me play with them.  I’m not good at being told that I can’t have something, so when I saw it left unguarded something else took over my body and I grabbed it before anyone could see.  I took it right under the bed in my favorite secret hiding place, and I tore that thing up.  The problem, folks, is that it’s filled with juicy black goodness and our carpets are white.  I didn’t really plan this crime well.

I tried to hide the evidence, but I just got more ink all over my paws and everywhere I ran to hide I left a guilty path that led right to me.

uh, anyone looking for a bug? I think i'm up for adoption.

uh, anyone looking for a bug? I think i’m up for adoption.

The only upside is that I think it really put the whole ‘shoe lace’ ordeal in perspective.  I spent 45 minutes in my iron prison while my mess was cleaned up, and I honestly think I almost had my camp privileges taken away, but lets be honest, that wouldn’t wouldn’t have really solved anything.

It has just been a long week, so I’m pretty excited to lay low this weekend and try to get back on my best behavior.  I have a lot of backlogged reading to do on my iPad, and Tank and I are have plans for a weekend sleepover, just us two, to revamp our training schedule and get on track for 2013.  You know, once we’re done our recovery naps.  I’m not sure what he did all week, but he sure is sleepy too.

I don't even remember this picture being taken.

I don’t even remember this picture being taken.

I’ll be in touch with our developments – they should be good.  With Lance (Armstrong) falling from grace, and all of those two legged dopers out of the sport, I think I might have a real chance at winning the tour.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

New Year Revelations

Dudes,

Happy New year.  I’ve been a little quiet on here because I’ve been going through some personal things that have been very difficult for me to share, until now.

I don’t even know how to say this, it’s been hard for me to even admit that it’s the truth, but here it is:  dudes, I’m adopted.  Yep that’s right, my mom is not my birth mom.  I can’t even believe that I’m just finding this out, I mean I’m almost 1 years old already.

Are you my mother?

Hi. I’m Bug. Are you my mother?

I had been doing some heavy goal setting exercises to get on track in 2013 and thought it would be a good idea to go back through my journals and some photos I found in my mom’s office.  I wanted to really connect to my roots so I could revisit my core values and passions to set a future vision true to myself.

Well, I didn’t find any of those things.  What I found was a devastating truth.   Really, adopted?  I knew I didn’t really look like anyone else in the family (Tank and I are completely different colors) but I thought that at the very worst we just had different dads.  I mean we both love sitting in the sun, tugging on babies, chewing bones, napping and watching criminal minds – it’s like we’re twins.  Our smiles are a little different, but what does that really say? Nothing obvious.

check out my mug shot.

we wear the same outfits

seriously. twins.

We’re probably going to have to completely restructure the Blood Brothers gang we’ve been organizing in the neighborhood.  The irony of the name is just a little too heavy for me right now.  I’m not in a good place.

I’ve spent the last few days going through my puppy photos and mourning my lost identity.  I’m not sure where I’m going to find myself, or if that’s even possible with such a big question mark in my personal history, but I’m working through it.  In the meantime I wanted to share with you a few of the pics that made me smile amid this darkest of moments.

mayme bug

dinner with my aunt maymes

IMG_0753

ROAAAAR! Hi.

bug baby

i just like this one. captures my good side.

bug sleep

such a cozy position.

bug car trip

one of my first car trips.

Hopefully the memories will eventually carry me through to the other end of this tunnel.  I have always had such a strong sense of self, it’s going to be a long journey to rebuild myself.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

I Won Christmas.

Dudes.

 

Guess what.  It happened. SANTA WAS HERE!!! I tried to stay up to see him but I spent the day spreading holiday cheer all over camp yesterday and was just a little too zonked.  Could have also been the Bugnog I concocted after dinner, but either way, I rested my eyes for just a second and missed the whole thing.

I'm awake. Just resting my eyes.

I’m awake. Just resting my eyes.

When I realized it was morning time I was so excited I ran all over the house and woke everyone up with sweet Christmas kisses and barks of joy.  Some scrooges don’t love morning ear kisses, but my tongue is like the velvets, so I think they just don’t know what they’ve been missing.   I love the holidays.

My grandparents and big brother Tate R. Tot gave me my new most favoritest toy – a green barn with lamb babies! I’m pretty much just a manger (I could make one) and a few wise men away from my own Bugtivity scene.  I’m a little busy today though so that might have to be a project for next year.

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

Lately I’ve been thinking that I would probably be an exceptional fire fighter, so this was the perfect gift for me.  I’ve been practicing my fire rescue strategies and tactics all morning.  Of course I’m starting with the most dangerous scenario and I’ve been timing myself on how quickly I can get all three of the lamb babies out of the ‘burning’ barn.

Assessing the potential risks.

Assessing the potential risks.

you've been saved lambie!

you’ve been saved lambie!

All in all I’ve conducted over 20 successful rescue missions, and only once did I leave a lamb baby inside the barn (only one) and I’ve only chewed off 4 of their ears.  I’d say the collateral damage was minimal.  I’m going to get this on video and add it to my rescue resume.

It was a lot of work conducting all those rescues on my own, and after the last one my adrenaline just crashed and I collapsed in exhaustion.

I am wiped.

Imma need chapstick later.

I spent the rest of the morning playing the ‘Christmas winner’ game, which essentially just consists of me putting all my new babies in my bed and declaring myself the winner of Christmas.  It can be slow at times, but by the end the excitement of being declared winner makes it totally worth it.

oh. hai.

oh. hai.

We’re just a few hours out from dinner which is going to be epic I’m sure, so I’m going to go have a little date with OnDemand and rest up.

But before I go, I want to wish you all safe and happy Christmas days.  Go out and make yourself a Christmas winner!

Stay jolly my babies,

xx Bug

 

 

 

 

Santa is coming. And Soon.

Dudes.

Santa’s coming! Seriously, we’re less than three days away from his arrival and I’m freaking out.  It’s my first Christmas and I am committed to staying up to see Santa and his reindeer.  I’m not sure what his plan is since I don’t have a chimney, but it’s freakin’ Santa so I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

I sleep in direct eyesight of the tree so it’s pretty much a sure thing.  I’m going to leave some of my cookies out – they’re pretty tasty if you ask me. I’ve been a little naughty this year so it’s gonna take some bells and whistles to rebound onto the nice list.

In the spirit of giving Tank and I have been collecting donations for local homeless shelters and other four legged friends.  We’ve been getting some sweet bed, blanket and food donations from our buddies at Pure Barre to support the food and blanket drive we’re having at camp.

these are some sweet colors!

these are some sweet colors!

Tank brought the first load over when he picked me up from camp yesterday.  He’s been really getting into the holiday spirit so he wore his full holiday uniform.

santa's little helper.

santa’s little helper.

Everyone loves it when Tank comes to get me so we got a few extra Christmas cookies before we went home.

christmas cookies!

I LOVE christmas cookies!

Tank was so excited he lost his hat for a minute, but I got it secured back on before we ventured out into the cold.  I also un-popped his collar because lets be real, it’s just not cute.

I’m off from camp until Monday and am going to be heading in to spread a little more cheer and drop off the last load of stuff right before Christmas.  I have a ton of things on my to-do list this weekend and am not sure how I’m going to get ready in time, but I’ve fueled up and am probably going to just pull an all-nighter.

Thankfully there are Christmas movies almost 24-7 on the movie channels so I’m going to just get in the zone.

Good luck with all of your holiday prep, and stay away from the malls.  They’re cray.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

An Embarrassing Reflection: My Day with the Runs.

Dudes,

I’m almost to embarrassed to write this post, but I’m committed to being honest in our relationship with you as the reader and me as the writer, and I will hold to my word.

This week has been very difficult for me.  I got the runs.  And I got them bad.

In the early hours of monday morning I heard a rumbling in my tummy, and it happened.  It all happened, at once.  I was so ashamed but I was overcome with urgency and shame all at once and while I always try to stay proud and keep my chin up – I couldn’t make it happen this time.  I curled up in the corner and cried.  Yep, I admit it.  I took to tears, and I’ll never forget it.

I was found that way in the morning when Tank came to get my for breakfast.  By that time my belly was being much better and I thought that I was approaching my own freedom from the experience, but I was wrong.

Not only did I not get any breakfast, but I also was kept home from camp and forced to take a bath.  It was horrible.  I was so cold, and the shivering from the shower just brought my right back to the dark hours in the corner of my crate.

I’ve had a few dark days, I’m not going to lie.  I fell into a deep depression, and was consumed by my personal shame.

My bed was thrown out so I had to nap on this thin bathmat. it was awful.

dont’ look at me.

There were moments when I couldn’t even get out of bed.  I didn’t think I would ever feel happiness again.  My favorite babies lay next to me, neglected and lifeless.

there is no joy.

there is no joy.

Tank tried to console me, but he was still living a rich life full of food, treats, and doing exactly what he loves the most: napping.  It’s cool that he likes it, but it’s not for me. I need more action.

I finally went back to camp Tuesday to give it a shot and then took another day off on Wednesday to recover.  I tried to lay low on the couch and just chill with my roomies so I could have full energy for camp again today.

yo.

yo.

It paid off.  Camp was ah-mazinnnng!  Not only did I get to see Toby, but I got to stay in during nap and be Santa’s little helper, putting together holiday treats for all the other campers.

willpower is no friend of mine.

willpower is no friend of mine.

I’m an awesome helper, but my recent days of starvation made me it really difficult not to just bury my face in the treat bowl and eat my way out.  I mean, come on people, this is like worse than the Hunger Games.

I was pretty beat when I got home tonight but I am finally back to my own food (no more chicken + rice for this girl).  I’m hitting the sack early tonight because I’m pulling back to back days at camp so I need to make sure I’m recharged.

Stay cool my babies, and stay away from me if you have germs.

xxBug