New Year Revelations

Dudes,

Happy New year.  I’ve been a little quiet on here because I’ve been going through some personal things that have been very difficult for me to share, until now.

I don’t even know how to say this, it’s been hard for me to even admit that it’s the truth, but here it is:  dudes, I’m adopted.  Yep that’s right, my mom is not my birth mom.  I can’t even believe that I’m just finding this out, I mean I’m almost 1 years old already.

Are you my mother?

Hi. I’m Bug. Are you my mother?

I had been doing some heavy goal setting exercises to get on track in 2013 and thought it would be a good idea to go back through my journals and some photos I found in my mom’s office.  I wanted to really connect to my roots so I could revisit my core values and passions to set a future vision true to myself.

Well, I didn’t find any of those things.  What I found was a devastating truth.   Really, adopted?  I knew I didn’t really look like anyone else in the family (Tank and I are completely different colors) but I thought that at the very worst we just had different dads.  I mean we both love sitting in the sun, tugging on babies, chewing bones, napping and watching criminal minds – it’s like we’re twins.  Our smiles are a little different, but what does that really say? Nothing obvious.

check out my mug shot.

we wear the same outfits

seriously. twins.

We’re probably going to have to completely restructure the Blood Brothers gang we’ve been organizing in the neighborhood.  The irony of the name is just a little too heavy for me right now.  I’m not in a good place.

I’ve spent the last few days going through my puppy photos and mourning my lost identity.  I’m not sure where I’m going to find myself, or if that’s even possible with such a big question mark in my personal history, but I’m working through it.  In the meantime I wanted to share with you a few of the pics that made me smile amid this darkest of moments.

mayme bug

dinner with my aunt maymes

IMG_0753

ROAAAAR! Hi.

bug baby

i just like this one. captures my good side.

bug sleep

such a cozy position.

bug car trip

one of my first car trips.

Hopefully the memories will eventually carry me through to the other end of this tunnel.  I have always had such a strong sense of self, it’s going to be a long journey to rebuild myself.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

I Won Christmas.

Dudes.

 

Guess what.  It happened. SANTA WAS HERE!!! I tried to stay up to see him but I spent the day spreading holiday cheer all over camp yesterday and was just a little too zonked.  Could have also been the Bugnog I concocted after dinner, but either way, I rested my eyes for just a second and missed the whole thing.

I'm awake. Just resting my eyes.

I’m awake. Just resting my eyes.

When I realized it was morning time I was so excited I ran all over the house and woke everyone up with sweet Christmas kisses and barks of joy.  Some scrooges don’t love morning ear kisses, but my tongue is like the velvets, so I think they just don’t know what they’ve been missing.   I love the holidays.

My grandparents and big brother Tate R. Tot gave me my new most favoritest toy – a green barn with lamb babies! I’m pretty much just a manger (I could make one) and a few wise men away from my own Bugtivity scene.  I’m a little busy today though so that might have to be a project for next year.

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

Lately I’ve been thinking that I would probably be an exceptional fire fighter, so this was the perfect gift for me.  I’ve been practicing my fire rescue strategies and tactics all morning.  Of course I’m starting with the most dangerous scenario and I’ve been timing myself on how quickly I can get all three of the lamb babies out of the ‘burning’ barn.

Assessing the potential risks.

Assessing the potential risks.

you've been saved lambie!

you’ve been saved lambie!

All in all I’ve conducted over 20 successful rescue missions, and only once did I leave a lamb baby inside the barn (only one) and I’ve only chewed off 4 of their ears.  I’d say the collateral damage was minimal.  I’m going to get this on video and add it to my rescue resume.

It was a lot of work conducting all those rescues on my own, and after the last one my adrenaline just crashed and I collapsed in exhaustion.

I am wiped.

Imma need chapstick later.

I spent the rest of the morning playing the ‘Christmas winner’ game, which essentially just consists of me putting all my new babies in my bed and declaring myself the winner of Christmas.  It can be slow at times, but by the end the excitement of being declared winner makes it totally worth it.

oh. hai.

oh. hai.

We’re just a few hours out from dinner which is going to be epic I’m sure, so I’m going to go have a little date with OnDemand and rest up.

But before I go, I want to wish you all safe and happy Christmas days.  Go out and make yourself a Christmas winner!

Stay jolly my babies,

xx Bug

 

 

 

 

Santa is coming. And Soon.

Dudes.

Santa’s coming! Seriously, we’re less than three days away from his arrival and I’m freaking out.  It’s my first Christmas and I am committed to staying up to see Santa and his reindeer.  I’m not sure what his plan is since I don’t have a chimney, but it’s freakin’ Santa so I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

I sleep in direct eyesight of the tree so it’s pretty much a sure thing.  I’m going to leave some of my cookies out – they’re pretty tasty if you ask me. I’ve been a little naughty this year so it’s gonna take some bells and whistles to rebound onto the nice list.

In the spirit of giving Tank and I have been collecting donations for local homeless shelters and other four legged friends.  We’ve been getting some sweet bed, blanket and food donations from our buddies at Pure Barre to support the food and blanket drive we’re having at camp.

these are some sweet colors!

these are some sweet colors!

Tank brought the first load over when he picked me up from camp yesterday.  He’s been really getting into the holiday spirit so he wore his full holiday uniform.

santa's little helper.

santa’s little helper.

Everyone loves it when Tank comes to get me so we got a few extra Christmas cookies before we went home.

christmas cookies!

I LOVE christmas cookies!

Tank was so excited he lost his hat for a minute, but I got it secured back on before we ventured out into the cold.  I also un-popped his collar because lets be real, it’s just not cute.

I’m off from camp until Monday and am going to be heading in to spread a little more cheer and drop off the last load of stuff right before Christmas.  I have a ton of things on my to-do list this weekend and am not sure how I’m going to get ready in time, but I’ve fueled up and am probably going to just pull an all-nighter.

Thankfully there are Christmas movies almost 24-7 on the movie channels so I’m going to just get in the zone.

Good luck with all of your holiday prep, and stay away from the malls.  They’re cray.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

An Embarrassing Reflection: My Day with the Runs.

Dudes,

I’m almost to embarrassed to write this post, but I’m committed to being honest in our relationship with you as the reader and me as the writer, and I will hold to my word.

This week has been very difficult for me.  I got the runs.  And I got them bad.

In the early hours of monday morning I heard a rumbling in my tummy, and it happened.  It all happened, at once.  I was so ashamed but I was overcome with urgency and shame all at once and while I always try to stay proud and keep my chin up – I couldn’t make it happen this time.  I curled up in the corner and cried.  Yep, I admit it.  I took to tears, and I’ll never forget it.

I was found that way in the morning when Tank came to get my for breakfast.  By that time my belly was being much better and I thought that I was approaching my own freedom from the experience, but I was wrong.

Not only did I not get any breakfast, but I also was kept home from camp and forced to take a bath.  It was horrible.  I was so cold, and the shivering from the shower just brought my right back to the dark hours in the corner of my crate.

I’ve had a few dark days, I’m not going to lie.  I fell into a deep depression, and was consumed by my personal shame.

My bed was thrown out so I had to nap on this thin bathmat. it was awful.

dont’ look at me.

There were moments when I couldn’t even get out of bed.  I didn’t think I would ever feel happiness again.  My favorite babies lay next to me, neglected and lifeless.

there is no joy.

there is no joy.

Tank tried to console me, but he was still living a rich life full of food, treats, and doing exactly what he loves the most: napping.  It’s cool that he likes it, but it’s not for me. I need more action.

I finally went back to camp Tuesday to give it a shot and then took another day off on Wednesday to recover.  I tried to lay low on the couch and just chill with my roomies so I could have full energy for camp again today.

yo.

yo.

It paid off.  Camp was ah-mazinnnng!  Not only did I get to see Toby, but I got to stay in during nap and be Santa’s little helper, putting together holiday treats for all the other campers.

willpower is no friend of mine.

willpower is no friend of mine.

I’m an awesome helper, but my recent days of starvation made me it really difficult not to just bury my face in the treat bowl and eat my way out.  I mean, come on people, this is like worse than the Hunger Games.

I was pretty beat when I got home tonight but I am finally back to my own food (no more chicken + rice for this girl).  I’m hitting the sack early tonight because I’m pulling back to back days at camp so I need to make sure I’m recharged.

Stay cool my babies, and stay away from me if you have germs.

xxBug

Christmukah Brings Out My Jazz Hands.

Dudes.  What a weekend.

Tank and I had fallen into a post-thanksgiving lull, and JUST got to the holiday decorations this weekend.  I know, I know, we’re slacking, but the important thing is we did it.  And we did it with bells on.

We made a little vlog (video blog), a little holiday jingle if you will, so please, share our experience.  Tank says he doesn’t really like the holidays, but it’s amazing how flashy he gets with the jazz hands when the tunes are on and he thinks no one is watching.  That guy is so jolly, he just hides it.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.58 PM

tank loves his christmas balls

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.11 PM

yep.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.36 PM

the star can get pretty high, so i do it first

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.20 PM

and the dancing has begun!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.51.30 PM

jaaaazzzz hands!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.49.23 PM

yeah, those are just our snowflakes.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.50.28 PM

boom.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.53 PM

he’s a caroler. don’t let the glasses & hat fool you. It’s Tank.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.50.59 PM

oopa!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.38 PM

punkin pie?

holiday jingle starring me & tank

happy christmukah to all my friends!

Well there  you have it.  Our weekend in a nutshell.  I’m hitting the hay early because I have camp tomorrow, but if you want the full recap click here and watch our adventure.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

A Tribute to My Good Dear Friend

With a heavy heart I write to you all about the passing of my best friend Truman.  It has been a difficult time for Tank and I, and we appreciate all of the support from friends, family, and my playgroup at camp.

I can not do Truman’s life justice with a blog post, but I will do my best to say what he meant to me.  For most of this Bug’s life Truman has been a second brother to me – and to Tank – and led through example to help me mature into the Bug I am today.  Here are just a few words, memories, and thoughts that I want to share.

Truman provided reason when I was being irrational.  One time when the neighbor kids opened the gate to the outside, I thought it was an opening for freedom.  It wasn’t.  Truman stayed in the yard and close to his brother Lex, to protect him, and to guard the pack.   He showed me that you never stray from the pack and always stand with your brother(s).

stay tall & true. constant vigilance.

Family is everything. Two legs or four, blood or not blood;  you love those that take care of you, and take care of those that you love.

brotherhood & love.

Love from T monster

smooches.

at his wedding to Jola.

TruTru was so wise for having so few years under his collar, and believed above all in peace and forgiveness.  He taught me to kiss instead of bite, to share instead of steal, to forgive instead of fight, and that regardless of any differences we might have in size or opinion, we always protect and take care of each other.

love you big buddy.

He was my biggest buddy and guardian in life, and will always be that voice in my head helping me to be my best self.  He was the Scooby to my Scrappy  Doo and I will never forget him.  My heart is with Truman’s parents and his blood brother Lex who fulfilled his life, and he loved with all his heart.  Thank you big buddy for being my friend.  May you rest peacefully now.

Rest Peacefully Truman. You were a great man.

ps. I’m sorry I stole borrowed your squeaky toy.  It was, uh, a packing oversight.  I will do my best to keep it safe from Tank’s razor sharp teeth as long as I live.  I promise that.

Tanksgiving 2012

Dudes,

Hope you all had sweet holidays.

I didn’t know anything about it until  Monday in the play yard when everyone was talking about camp being closed on Thursday.  I don’t actually go to camp on Thursdays, but just knowing that it was going to be closed sent me into an emotional spiral.

Needless to say I was completely unprepared.  Adding to the confusion, on Tuesday night at dinner Tank declared that this year he would be celebrating Tanksgiving and demanded that he be given breakfast in bed and showered with gifts all day long – which basically sounds like every day of his life.

SPOILED.

I knew I needed to consult a better resource so I went the only resource I can trust: google.  Because seriously people, if it’s on the internet, it’s true.

So here’s what I learned.

1. It’s all about the poultry.  Everything apparently revolves around silly fat birds and I knew I wanted to make an impression at my first Turkey Day so I dug in to some practical research.

Tank taught me how to cut.

get those giblets!

…and stuff it.

2. It’s supposedly a holiday marking a meal between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans.

just ridiculous.

I don’t really understand what that’s about, but I can tell you one thing – I’m not dressing up like no pilgrim anytime soon.

3.  Food.  Everyone says it’s about friends & families and being thankful, but I mostly found recipes and pictures of food.  I’m really trying to keep off the holiday weight so this news does not bode well for my training diet.

I was totally gung-ho about this Turkey chopping holiday and for nothing.  The mom’s didn’t stay home  for dinner so I was forced to stay home watching Band of Brothers with Tank having him recount old war stories and constantly cleaning my ears.

this is my life.

Four hours (and I’m certain several ear infections) later I was able to snag my first fallen scrap of Turkey from their leftovers and got so sleepy I couldn’t even enjoy it.  I should have just packed up my backpack and checked into the overnight hotel at camp but I couldn’t do that to Tank on his own personal holiday.

All I can say is next year if I don’t get to carve that bird, someone is going to experience a world of hurt.

I’m back at camp tomorrow and I could not be more excited.  I’m so over this weekend.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

Wet Ears, Hats + Bugrito Style

Dudes, it is super chill ville outside these days! Sometimes even my jacket doesn’t feel like enough on the cold camp mornings and I’ve started to look into means of keeping warm: hats. They’ve got to be cool though, I’m not just putting any old thing on this noggin.

this one is BEAR-Y cute.

In the mornings, Tank is always the first one at my crate to demand my release from my iron prison (it’s really pretty cozy and warm… don’t tell anyone).  Once I’ve been granted freedom, I do my stretches – a little down dog, a few up dogs, and some deep breathing to loosen up.  Tank usually stays with me to lick my ears, eyes, and paws, which is nice (I’m the cleanest kid at camp) but I’m totally going to catch a cold heading out into the yard with wet ears.  It’s important that I keep them warm, they’re how I hear things and let me tell you, without sharp hearing at camp you will miss the best gossip.

Blonde mommy helps me with my style and we’ve found some pretty sweet looks for the winter.  The trouble is Tank – he keeps trying to steal my look, and I’m like, dude, you’re sweet looking and I want you to have cool style, but you need to find your own.

he tried. I didn’t love it.

I still haven’t found the best hat look for me, but I’m committed to the goal.  I know it’s going to be super important once the snow gets here.  I still have my fingers crossed that Santa is bringing me Pugz (Uggs for pups) because if there’s one thing I hate more than cold wet ears, it’s cold wet piggies.

Yesterday was especially cold in the morning and I almost considered skipping camp.  That’s totally not like me, especially on day’s when I know my boyfriend Toby is going to be there because we’ve already got such limited time together.  I was waiting for my mommy to drive me to camp and got a brilliant idea.  It was actually Tank’s constant burrowing in blankets and beds that inspired me – I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.

ain’t no party like a bugrito party!

I’m going to do all of my outside travels as a BUGRITO! It’s genius.  I mean, instead of having to carry my nap bed all the way to camp, I’ll just wrap it around me burrito style to keep me warm, and then once I’m safe at camp, BOOM, my bed is there too.  And let me tell you, there is some super warm fluff in this thing.  I mean, obviously I’ve got a fur coat already, but this one is super sweet and for all those haters out there, the fur is totally fake.  Believe me, I triple checked that.

Since I hit camp a full three days this week Tank and I are chillin’ like villans at home this weekend, just catching up on our programs this week (hello, The Voice LIVE ROUNDS started!) and surfing the net.  I’m finding some pretty awesome things so I’ll be sure to share them with you.

Hope you’re all surviving the temp changes.

Stay cool warm my babies!

xx Bug

 

Camp, CrossFit + Tank’s Glass Eye Fund

Dudes.

How’s it hangin’?  It has been such a busy week for me with camp, the election, and CrossFit that I feel like it was just Sunday, but it’s not.  It’s Thursday dudes.

Monday night after camp I went over to Solidarity CrossFit to practice some elements and give out a few coaching pointers.

you gotta lay back into your swing here

If there’s one thing I’m a stickler for it’s proper form, and the erg is a place where most inexperienced rowers struggle.  I mean, look at me, I’m no giant, but I sure can drop those meters like a boss.  I think everyone appreciated that I took the time to help make some technical tweaks, and I sure did love finally seeing the new facility.

observing form from a higher vantage point

I was exhausted by minute 20 – I mean listen, it had been a long day at camp – so I checked out before the WOD was over, but I think everyone really did benefit from my insight and experience.  I’m working on tweaking my instructional video on box jumps.  I’m at 24″ and can do 20 in a row without stopping, but my goal is 50.  I’m thinking I’ll have it down by January.

i got lots of thank you love before I left

Tuesday I took off from camp because it was the election and I was glued to the news all day analyzing the polls and watching the lines.  The fact that I can’t vote is just so upsetting I can’t even tell you.  Tank and I had some buddies over to watch the results come in, and we all made it into the double digits but I totally faded before any of the speeches.

tank being way emo with uncle david

I’m just waiting for someone to come to the plate and talk seriously about water bowl sanitation issues.  I mean, this is getting ridiculous.  All of us drinking out of the same contaminated water, and the big dogs with their big tongues draining the supply before us littles get in to the play yard? It’s totally unjust!  I need to hear how these jokers are planning on regulating that, and all the aggressive sniffing that happens in parks and public settings.  Did I say you could put your snout there? No. I didn’t.  And that’s assault, brotha.  I have so many agenda items that I care so passionately about that I can’t go on because I just wouldn’t be able to stop.  I wouldn’t.  It’s insane.

I was back at camp yesterday, which was awesome, so awesome in fact that I had to take another rest day today.  I’ve been chilling with Tank a bunch on my off days because he just found out that he’s going to have to wear his spectacles for life because he can’t see out of his one eye.  I mean, seriously, no more Tanky Potter jokes, he’s super sensi about it.  Apparently he’s never had full vision so he doesn’t know any different but that hasn’t seemed to console him during this new mental anguish.

Stay tuned for updates on the ‘Glass Eye Fund’ that I’m starting for Tank.  I mean, what better way to compliment the scary ‘nam stories he tells all the neighborhood kids than to have a glass eye that actually pops out?! So far he still wants to keep his eye but I’m pretty sure I can get him on board eventually.  I mean, what wouldn’t he give up to have a better party trick? His snaggle tooth just ain’t cutting it anymore.

I’m back to camp tomorrow, and hopefully also back on the grind with my training videos.  Gotta keep things moving around here.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

Breaking News: Lex Turned 7

Dudes,

I got so caught up in telling everyone about Tank’s new readers that I completely forgot to give a big BIRTHDAY shout out to my good buddy Lex who lives in Charlotte.  Lex is Truman’s brother, and the best brother a dog could have.  I guess that makes him Tank and my cousin officially, but we’re so much more like siblings I can’t even tell you.

this just screams ‘brothers’

he LOVES wet willies

I mean seriously, if we weren’t related, we’d be in love. 

When we’re all together I can’t even tell you what kind of trouble we get into.  We just have a few juice boxes and suddenly Tank’s in the pool, I’m roasting ‘shmallows and Lex is building contraptions out of the patio furniture.  I don’t even know where Truman gets to, but to be honest he mostly just watches out for the rest of us to make sure we don’t get called in to the pokey (or the house).

Tank and I were super bummed to miss his Bday, but we’ve got big plans for the celebration the next time we see him.  I don’t want to spoil it but it involves a yoyo, a tennis ball, and some guerilla glue.  Seriously, you don’t even know how awesome it’s going to be.  Don’t tell our moms.

If you would, please pour out some of your water bowl in honor of my buddy Lex and his 7th Birthday!!

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug