12 Months in to my life, I’m Turning 1

Dudes.

It’s time we had a serious talk about life.

Bug Says: reflect on the past.

look in to my eyes. can you see what i’m thinking? no reason, just curious.

I turn 1 years old on Friday.  It’s a pretty big number: 1.  Truly, I don’t even know where these last 12 months have gone.

As I stand here looking out at what I can only assume is the last 95% of my life, I feel a renewed sense of responsibility not to waste another day.  I mean, it would be so easy to just live day in, and day out, chewing bones and playing with my friends at camp, but I want my life to mean something.  I want my legacy to be greater than just my run for class president and my impending olympic gold medal (specific sport, yet to be determined).

Today after camp I was pretty spent so instead of training (it’s wicked windy out) I got on my iPad to google things while my Aunt Ellen was on, and I came across this video.  I think this kid is my long lost brother.

Seriously, it’s like he took the words right out of my mouth.  I mean, that was half of my campaign platform for camp, just minus the dancing.  I don’t have the dancing down yet, but I have a darn fine swaggle (swagger + waggle) when I walk, and you better believe I use it to my advantage.

So, this birthday, this monumental anniversary of [my] birth, I will be taking paws (pause?) from my regularly scheduled life to reflect on what it is that makes me come alive and what path I’m going to take.  Also, I’m thinking about watching Space Jam.

In lieu of gifts, please do the same.  And when you’re done watching Space Jam, think about how you’re going to be a leader, and a boss.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

Snow Blows.

Dudes, last week it snow stormed here.  Well, sort of.  It wasn’t exactly a ‘storm,’ but there was snow and I LOVED it.

Bug says snow storm

 

I usually don’t like to get my paws wet, but I got a case of the curiosities, so I ventured out for a little expedition.

I sniffed it.

I sniffed it.

I tasted it.

I tasted it.

and I stopped off for a chilled brewski

and I stopped off for a chilled brewski (or twoski…)

I had so much fun playing in the powder, but I had left my coat in my camp bag so I only lasted about 10 minutes out in the tundra.

Tank, on the other hand, showed up to pick me up from camp in a sexy new parka, totally ready for the frigid temps.

I'm a model you know what I mean.  And I do my little turn on the catwalk

I’m a model you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk. On the catwalk. 

I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?

I’m too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?

I shake my little touche on the catwalk.

I shake my little touche on the catwalk.

All my friends at camp loved T’s outfit, and couldn’t stop talking about how sweetly the fur (fake fur people!) framed his face.  I was secretly a little mad because I wore my christmas sweater AND my coat to camp the same day, and NO one said anything to me about it.  I don’t even know why I try sometimes.

Regardless, this week I learned about snow and it was cool, but I got my fill.  I’m ready to move to a warmer climate. I’m thinking California, but I mean, I wouldn’t rule out another temperate climate.  I mean let’s be real, for the right price, I’d go anywhere, snow boots and all.

We had a big weekend after the snow, but I’ll have to circle back on that tomorrow because camp left me completely zonked today.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Time Outs + a Long Week at Camp

Dudes,

Is it finally the weekend? I thought I’d never make it.

I’ve been logging some seriously long hours at camp this week and I’m just plain exhausted.

my eyelids weigh like 4lbs. so heavy.

my eyelids weigh like 4lbs. so heavy.

On Monday AND Wednesday I pulled 10 hour shifts. Straight through, only 1 nap.

To add insult to injury, I think my mom is skimping on my lunch snacks.  Seriously,  around 3pm I hit this hypoglycemic low that feels like a brick wall and it takes everything out of me.   I can’t even tell you the last time I had enough juice left in me to do a training run through.  My body is too tired to think about fitness.

The worst part is that when I get tired I get super cranky, and have a little fuzzy brain.  Guys I can’t help it, I’m just exhausted, but my mom told me that isn’t an excuse and I got two, count them TWO, timeouts this week.

My first day off from camp was Tuesday and everything was fine until the afternoon when I had a fuzzy brain episode.  I haven’t been going in my iron prison much lately and have been enjoying a much longer leash of trust around the house, you know, within reason.  When mom came home for lunch everything was super kosher and I was in a deep REM cycle.

look. I sleep like an angel.

look. I sleep like an angel.

You should have seen her, she was so proud of me.  But she went back to work, the sleep wore off, and this happened.

it's just a shoelace people.

it’s just a shoelace people.

Yeah, so I did that.  But, I mean, really, I thought I was doing her a favor.  Who wears converses anymore? I mean that was so spring 2012 and/or 7th grade.  I haven’t seen her wear them in months and she keeps talking about cleaning out her closet, so I just gave her a little push she needed.

You know how she thanked me?  With a time out.  Geez, it’s like nobody appreciates unsolicited help anymore.

I was back at camp wednesday for another full day, which was a nice break from all of the ‘rules’ that come with home based freedom.  I tried to tell Toby about it, but he’s at camp all the days and just doesn’t understand my struggles.  Plus, he’s like the worst listener ever and is always yapping about himself.  So rude, sometimes I just think we should see other pups and just be friends.

Thursday came and went with minimal drama which really helped me out, but I just couldn’t seem to make it the full cycle and on Friday morning I got my longest timeout in recent memory.

Listen, on the mornings I go to camp I like to get up a little early to do all of my business, and then I typically just play by myself until it’s time to go.  Yesterday I was right on track, until I found a delicacy on the coffee table.  My mom only uses one type of pen (pilot vball extra fine) and NEVER lets me play with them.  I’m not good at being told that I can’t have something, so when I saw it left unguarded something else took over my body and I grabbed it before anyone could see.  I took it right under the bed in my favorite secret hiding place, and I tore that thing up.  The problem, folks, is that it’s filled with juicy black goodness and our carpets are white.  I didn’t really plan this crime well.

I tried to hide the evidence, but I just got more ink all over my paws and everywhere I ran to hide I left a guilty path that led right to me.

uh, anyone looking for a bug? I think i'm up for adoption.

uh, anyone looking for a bug? I think i’m up for adoption.

The only upside is that I think it really put the whole ‘shoe lace’ ordeal in perspective.  I spent 45 minutes in my iron prison while my mess was cleaned up, and I honestly think I almost had my camp privileges taken away, but lets be honest, that wouldn’t wouldn’t have really solved anything.

It has just been a long week, so I’m pretty excited to lay low this weekend and try to get back on my best behavior.  I have a lot of backlogged reading to do on my iPad, and Tank and I are have plans for a weekend sleepover, just us two, to revamp our training schedule and get on track for 2013.  You know, once we’re done our recovery naps.  I’m not sure what he did all week, but he sure is sleepy too.

I don't even remember this picture being taken.

I don’t even remember this picture being taken.

I’ll be in touch with our developments – they should be good.  With Lance (Armstrong) falling from grace, and all of those two legged dopers out of the sport, I think I might have a real chance at winning the tour.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

New Year Revelations

Dudes,

Happy New year.  I’ve been a little quiet on here because I’ve been going through some personal things that have been very difficult for me to share, until now.

I don’t even know how to say this, it’s been hard for me to even admit that it’s the truth, but here it is:  dudes, I’m adopted.  Yep that’s right, my mom is not my birth mom.  I can’t even believe that I’m just finding this out, I mean I’m almost 1 years old already.

Are you my mother?

Hi. I’m Bug. Are you my mother?

I had been doing some heavy goal setting exercises to get on track in 2013 and thought it would be a good idea to go back through my journals and some photos I found in my mom’s office.  I wanted to really connect to my roots so I could revisit my core values and passions to set a future vision true to myself.

Well, I didn’t find any of those things.  What I found was a devastating truth.   Really, adopted?  I knew I didn’t really look like anyone else in the family (Tank and I are completely different colors) but I thought that at the very worst we just had different dads.  I mean we both love sitting in the sun, tugging on babies, chewing bones, napping and watching criminal minds – it’s like we’re twins.  Our smiles are a little different, but what does that really say? Nothing obvious.

check out my mug shot.

we wear the same outfits

seriously. twins.

We’re probably going to have to completely restructure the Blood Brothers gang we’ve been organizing in the neighborhood.  The irony of the name is just a little too heavy for me right now.  I’m not in a good place.

I’ve spent the last few days going through my puppy photos and mourning my lost identity.  I’m not sure where I’m going to find myself, or if that’s even possible with such a big question mark in my personal history, but I’m working through it.  In the meantime I wanted to share with you a few of the pics that made me smile amid this darkest of moments.

mayme bug

dinner with my aunt maymes

IMG_0753

ROAAAAR! Hi.

bug baby

i just like this one. captures my good side.

bug sleep

such a cozy position.

bug car trip

one of my first car trips.

Hopefully the memories will eventually carry me through to the other end of this tunnel.  I have always had such a strong sense of self, it’s going to be a long journey to rebuild myself.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug