I Won Christmas.

Dudes.

 

Guess what.  It happened. SANTA WAS HERE!!! I tried to stay up to see him but I spent the day spreading holiday cheer all over camp yesterday and was just a little too zonked.  Could have also been the Bugnog I concocted after dinner, but either way, I rested my eyes for just a second and missed the whole thing.

I'm awake. Just resting my eyes.

I’m awake. Just resting my eyes.

When I realized it was morning time I was so excited I ran all over the house and woke everyone up with sweet Christmas kisses and barks of joy.  Some scrooges don’t love morning ear kisses, but my tongue is like the velvets, so I think they just don’t know what they’ve been missing.   I love the holidays.

My grandparents and big brother Tate R. Tot gave me my new most favoritest toy – a green barn with lamb babies! I’m pretty much just a manger (I could make one) and a few wise men away from my own Bugtivity scene.  I’m a little busy today though so that might have to be a project for next year.

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

A Barn filled with lamb babies? YES, please!

Lately I’ve been thinking that I would probably be an exceptional fire fighter, so this was the perfect gift for me.  I’ve been practicing my fire rescue strategies and tactics all morning.  Of course I’m starting with the most dangerous scenario and I’ve been timing myself on how quickly I can get all three of the lamb babies out of the ‘burning’ barn.

Assessing the potential risks.

Assessing the potential risks.

you've been saved lambie!

you’ve been saved lambie!

All in all I’ve conducted over 20 successful rescue missions, and only once did I leave a lamb baby inside the barn (only one) and I’ve only chewed off 4 of their ears.  I’d say the collateral damage was minimal.  I’m going to get this on video and add it to my rescue resume.

It was a lot of work conducting all those rescues on my own, and after the last one my adrenaline just crashed and I collapsed in exhaustion.

I am wiped.

Imma need chapstick later.

I spent the rest of the morning playing the ‘Christmas winner’ game, which essentially just consists of me putting all my new babies in my bed and declaring myself the winner of Christmas.  It can be slow at times, but by the end the excitement of being declared winner makes it totally worth it.

oh. hai.

oh. hai.

We’re just a few hours out from dinner which is going to be epic I’m sure, so I’m going to go have a little date with OnDemand and rest up.

But before I go, I want to wish you all safe and happy Christmas days.  Go out and make yourself a Christmas winner!

Stay jolly my babies,

xx Bug

 

 

 

 

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Santa is coming. And Soon.

Dudes.

Santa’s coming! Seriously, we’re less than three days away from his arrival and I’m freaking out.  It’s my first Christmas and I am committed to staying up to see Santa and his reindeer.  I’m not sure what his plan is since I don’t have a chimney, but it’s freakin’ Santa so I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

I sleep in direct eyesight of the tree so it’s pretty much a sure thing.  I’m going to leave some of my cookies out – they’re pretty tasty if you ask me. I’ve been a little naughty this year so it’s gonna take some bells and whistles to rebound onto the nice list.

In the spirit of giving Tank and I have been collecting donations for local homeless shelters and other four legged friends.  We’ve been getting some sweet bed, blanket and food donations from our buddies at Pure Barre to support the food and blanket drive we’re having at camp.

these are some sweet colors!

these are some sweet colors!

Tank brought the first load over when he picked me up from camp yesterday.  He’s been really getting into the holiday spirit so he wore his full holiday uniform.

santa's little helper.

santa’s little helper.

Everyone loves it when Tank comes to get me so we got a few extra Christmas cookies before we went home.

christmas cookies!

I LOVE christmas cookies!

Tank was so excited he lost his hat for a minute, but I got it secured back on before we ventured out into the cold.  I also un-popped his collar because lets be real, it’s just not cute.

I’m off from camp until Monday and am going to be heading in to spread a little more cheer and drop off the last load of stuff right before Christmas.  I have a ton of things on my to-do list this weekend and am not sure how I’m going to get ready in time, but I’ve fueled up and am probably going to just pull an all-nighter.

Thankfully there are Christmas movies almost 24-7 on the movie channels so I’m going to just get in the zone.

Good luck with all of your holiday prep, and stay away from the malls.  They’re cray.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

An Embarrassing Reflection: My Day with the Runs.

Dudes,

I’m almost to embarrassed to write this post, but I’m committed to being honest in our relationship with you as the reader and me as the writer, and I will hold to my word.

This week has been very difficult for me.  I got the runs.  And I got them bad.

In the early hours of monday morning I heard a rumbling in my tummy, and it happened.  It all happened, at once.  I was so ashamed but I was overcome with urgency and shame all at once and while I always try to stay proud and keep my chin up – I couldn’t make it happen this time.  I curled up in the corner and cried.  Yep, I admit it.  I took to tears, and I’ll never forget it.

I was found that way in the morning when Tank came to get my for breakfast.  By that time my belly was being much better and I thought that I was approaching my own freedom from the experience, but I was wrong.

Not only did I not get any breakfast, but I also was kept home from camp and forced to take a bath.  It was horrible.  I was so cold, and the shivering from the shower just brought my right back to the dark hours in the corner of my crate.

I’ve had a few dark days, I’m not going to lie.  I fell into a deep depression, and was consumed by my personal shame.

My bed was thrown out so I had to nap on this thin bathmat. it was awful.

dont’ look at me.

There were moments when I couldn’t even get out of bed.  I didn’t think I would ever feel happiness again.  My favorite babies lay next to me, neglected and lifeless.

there is no joy.

there is no joy.

Tank tried to console me, but he was still living a rich life full of food, treats, and doing exactly what he loves the most: napping.  It’s cool that he likes it, but it’s not for me. I need more action.

I finally went back to camp Tuesday to give it a shot and then took another day off on Wednesday to recover.  I tried to lay low on the couch and just chill with my roomies so I could have full energy for camp again today.

yo.

yo.

It paid off.  Camp was ah-mazinnnng!  Not only did I get to see Toby, but I got to stay in during nap and be Santa’s little helper, putting together holiday treats for all the other campers.

willpower is no friend of mine.

willpower is no friend of mine.

I’m an awesome helper, but my recent days of starvation made me it really difficult not to just bury my face in the treat bowl and eat my way out.  I mean, come on people, this is like worse than the Hunger Games.

I was pretty beat when I got home tonight but I am finally back to my own food (no more chicken + rice for this girl).  I’m hitting the sack early tonight because I’m pulling back to back days at camp so I need to make sure I’m recharged.

Stay cool my babies, and stay away from me if you have germs.

xxBug

Christmukah Brings Out My Jazz Hands.

Dudes.  What a weekend.

Tank and I had fallen into a post-thanksgiving lull, and JUST got to the holiday decorations this weekend.  I know, I know, we’re slacking, but the important thing is we did it.  And we did it with bells on.

We made a little vlog (video blog), a little holiday jingle if you will, so please, share our experience.  Tank says he doesn’t really like the holidays, but it’s amazing how flashy he gets with the jazz hands when the tunes are on and he thinks no one is watching.  That guy is so jolly, he just hides it.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.58 PM

tank loves his christmas balls

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.11 PM

yep.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.47.36 PM

the star can get pretty high, so i do it first

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.20 PM

and the dancing has begun!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.51.30 PM

jaaaazzzz hands!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.49.23 PM

yeah, those are just our snowflakes.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.50.28 PM

boom.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.53 PM

he’s a caroler. don’t let the glasses & hat fool you. It’s Tank.

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.50.59 PM

oopa!

Screen Shot 2012-12-09 at 9.48.38 PM

punkin pie?

holiday jingle starring me & tank

happy christmukah to all my friends!

Well there  you have it.  Our weekend in a nutshell.  I’m hitting the hay early because I have camp tomorrow, but if you want the full recap click here and watch our adventure.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

Tank’s New Owner: Billy-Bob.

Dudes,

I finally found a new forever home for Tank.  Meet Billy-Bob.

Tank & Bill.

all smiles.

I actually put Tank up for sale last week but didn’t post my last entry until I knew it was a sure deal.

Just kidding, he’s staying.  The plan was totally a GO until the email offers started rolling in and the jig was up.  Tall mommy did NOT think it was funny and put the kibosh on the whole plan.  She doesn’t let me post things on the internet, and claims it’s illegal to sell your brother on there.  Who knew.

The dude in the picture is actually my Uncle Billy.  Billy and Tank are pretty tight bros, and picture is just a random from happy hour.  We were just messing around – they’re such jokers.  Anyway, looks like Tank is staying, and we’re just going to have to find a good spin on it for my campaign.  Peaches has some ideas so hopefully we’re good there.

Tank and I are back in the Carolinas again for some business just chilling with Lex and Billy for a few days.  Things aren’t the same without Truman here, but we’re working through it.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

 

Tank Went to Prison.

Dudes,

It happened.  Tank was sent to prison.

I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened.  He has been playing at the edge of the law lately, and this time he got caught.  Discrimination was definitely not on his side.

I don’t know what his sentence is going to be, but I doubt it will be lenient.   They kept him in the pokey for like 30 whole minutes.  That’s serious business around these parts.

Listen, I love Tank just as much as the next guy.  He’s my brother.  But I can’t have a felon living in my house, I just can’t.  It’s not good for my public image.

I consulted my campaign manager Peaches, and we agreed, it is time.  Tank is for sale.

He is listed on craigslist for 1 million dollars.  There is a mandatory home visit and I will be touring the homes personally to determine if the accommodations are suitable for Big T.  I don’t have time for games make sure you provide all of your information in your response.  Background and credit checks will be required,  and the payment option is CASH ONLY.  No payment plans, that’s a fools game.   See his ad below and contact me directly with any questions.  Also, don’t tell my mom, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug