How to Kill a Squirrel(bird)

Dudes.  Tank and I went hunting this weekend.

We took a staycation at my buddy Truman’s house.  It was awesome.  He was out-of-town with the family, so I ran Bug Patrol in the back yard to keep our perimeters secure.   Tank was no help – he just camped out in the pool and barked at the crumb-snatchers that kept coming over to the fence on the north side.

This weekend I met my match with the most dangerous and threatening creatures on the planet.  Squirrels. It’s like they knew Truman was out of town, and you know, when the cat’s away, the mice will play, so I had to bring my A-game.

My half-brother Tate told me about how they terrorize his yard, so I was prepared.  As soon as I realized the magnitude of what I was dealing with I consulted the most talented and knowledgable sniper I know – Tank.

With passion in his eye and a snaggle in his tooth, Tank taught me how to hunt squirrel.  Tank says that like anything else, when hunting at squirrel you have to view them as the enemy.  Locate, identify, and GET HIS GUTS!  Tank is the best man gutter you could ever meet and taught me everything I know.

For all of you boys and girls out there that are also terrorized by foreign enemy creatures, Tank and I have put together a step by step guide starring me, Bug, and Raffie, the giraffe.

Step 1: Locate, identify & pin the enemy down

Step 2: Extract the guts.

note: always be thorough. get ALL the guts!

It was a long weekend working the yard, but it was worth it.  The house is safe, and the yard remains squirrel free. I’m not gonna lie, it was a thankless job and I am just spent.  After we were done the photo shoot Tank, Raffie, and I all hit our snooze buttons until dinner.

I think maybe Raffie needs a doctor….

It was a great weekend, but tomorrow is Monday and it’s time to hop back on the grind.

Stay cool my babies,

xxBug

Doggles, Aunt Mitch + the Hotness.

Dudes.  I mean seriously.  Eat your heart out Suri, this outfit is the new hotness.

I need to meet this dude. ASAP.

This is the greatest outfit I’ve seen since Tank’s rambo sweatband.  And just in time for NYC Fashion week.  I bet those little 5th avenue mini’s and tea cups couldn’t pull off a unit like this one.  And did you see the DOGGLES??  Um, yes please.  I’ve been asking for doggles for MONTHS.  They are perfection.

I even found a sweet pair with sculls and crossbones on them on amazon but tall mommy said that I have to wait until my next allowance because this month’s allowance is going to support my Aunt Mitch in running her marathon (she’s running the NYC ING Marathon for Freds Team to raise $ for cancer research so check her out & give her monies).

I can’t even talk about this any more.  I immediately need to find one of these in my size and push for an advance on my allowance.  I’d borrow from tank but he lost it all on the races this weekend. I think he has a problem.

I’ll report back with my findings.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug

 

A week late and 4 legs short.

Dudes.

The week has gotten away from me.  Last weekend was crazy.  Social overload lasted until late this week, but it was frickin worth it.

Friday I went to camp and when I got home the moms had friends over to grill and give me attention.  It’s like they knew they were my two favorite things.  No one would give me any table scraps, and I’m certain Tank told them not to.  He’s super strict with this nutrition plan he’s got me on and it’s horribly dry – like twigs and berries, hold the berries.

Saturday morning was the Charlottesville Women’s 4 miler with the lululemon gang & UVa Men’s Cross Country team.

Check this dude out.  I totally dig his outfit.

I still haven’t gotten my game day outfit, and you better believe I’ve made  it known how dissatisfied I am in the mom’s lack of pageantry.   I swear, if I don’t have it by tomorrow I’m totally going to camp naked.  I’m not kidding, I will totally do it.

The craziness didn’t stop there.  Football season is ON. We live in walking distance to the stadium which is great because Tank always puts up a fight when I try to take his keys away after a brewski or twoski.

Game days are my new jam.

After the game & tailgating Tank and I were beat so we took to the couch for the rest of the night.  My Uncle Hargraves came over right before bed to talk campaign strategy.  I was captivated by his wealth of knowledge.

Saturday was game day for the HOOS, but Sunday was game day for Tank and I.  We hit the pavement early to get some miles under our collars, and sweat out some of our weekend treats.

By the end of Sunday any hopes of being on my A-game were shot and I barely made it through another night of guests at the house.  Tank was super social the whole time and sat on everyone’s laps – he has turned into quite the ladies man, but that’s a conversation for another time.  SMH.

I’ve tripled up on camp this week while the house was being painted so I’m pretty wiped out, but I’m going to juice up tonight after dinner and aim for a solid night of sleep.

Stay cool my babies,

xx Bug